stop the world

i feel like a hamster running on one of those hamster wheels.  there is so much to do.  SO MUCH.  and i think about it, or look at it...and feel like putting my jammies back on and going to bed.  it overwhelms me. 
i need to finish ava's sleep sacks, make stuff for the business, clean my house, make food for ava, make food for curt, clean my bathrooms, wash my floors, check my dog for ticks, brush poor callie's winter fur out, organize, write on HERE, play with ava, keep ava happy...the list goes on and on and i feel like i just CAN'T. 
before we moved into this house, i had this vision of what it would be like...cuz in the other house, with the wood stove and just the fact of its being pretty old and not completely fixed up, i was overwhelmed - i just could never keep up with the cleaning that i wanted to do; add to that, the fact that we were pretty much 'camping' without actual places to put stuff for three years - it seemed impossible...oh the vision of what it would be like in THIS house...everything in its place, neat, clean, organized...the picture of a 1950s housewife's dream (or at least the way movies seem to portray it). house all clean, pies in the oven, wearing a dress and high heels.  i don't even LIKE to wear high heels.
it ISN'T dirty here.  but it's more like living in organized chaos - neat piles.  PILES of stuff.  EVERYWHERE.  piles of stuff everywhere that is all waving at me smugly reminding me that this IS NOT THE VISION, this IS NOT THE WAY I IMAGINED.  and i am left overwhelmed and completing nothing...running like a hamster in its wheel and hoping one day to just get off.