for always

'I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always.

As long as I'm living,

My baby you'll be.'

-Robert Munsch

there is a feeling that you can't know until you become a parent.  sure, non-parents love, i loved before ava was born.  but this is a new 'species', this emotion that fills your being when you become a mommy.  it's a feeling akin to love, in the same way a creek is to a river.  the basic premise is the same, but it is SO much more.  SO much bigger.  my heart sometimes doesn't feel able to hold it all without exploding into a million pieces all singing, 'i love you, ava'!  'me' doesn't mean the same thing it did last year.  'me' is now ava included.  it is only now that i have an inkling of what God feels for me.  it is humbling and mind-blowing.  how amazing, that as you become less, you are actually becoming more. 

as long as i live and after.  that is my promise to you, bean.  for always.