for the love of ava

whenever it's quiet or there is nothing going on that needs my immediate attention my mind starts writing.  yes, writing.  i realized recently that i think as if i was writing something (a blog perhaps?) that someone was going to read or hear or possibly respond to in some way.  i see the words appearing across a page in my mind, i see them deleted as i change them to make them sound better.  mostly that happens during the evening as i'm rocking ava to sleep.  and then, the last week or so, nothing.  it's strange because i've been so used to it that i really only realized it happens a few weeks ago and now that i know, when it's gone it's so....quiet...inside my head.  last night i decided to 'listen' for what was happening when it was quiet and i could hear my soul singing to ava - 'i love you, i love you, i LOVE you...'  every fibre of my being sings out a ballad.